When the Rain Falls- {Faithful Fridays}

Troubles come. No one lives a perfect life. Everyone feels pain, loneliness, desolation.

It is how we handle ourselves when it comes. Sometimes it's just a drop, a disappointment, something small. Sometimes it's a sprinkle, a lost hope. But what about when it rains, the lightning cracks, the thunder is shouting in your face, what then? When the wind is whipping your face and you have no where to hide. No shelter, no safe haven. Where then will you go? 

When you realize the storm isn't passing, and you have to face it, what's your response? 

Life isn't all sunshine and roses, it isn't good times and happy memories. Sometimes it's bitterness, grief, and anger. What will you do if your alone in a storm? When everyone has left you, and there is no visible help? 

Hopefully your answer is, run to God. However, in the stir of the moment, we can forget. 

Because, no matter what, you're never alone. Even when the world, people, and friends leave you, He is with you. He is all you need. No person, can fill emptiness like Jesus can. 

He has not left me alone. {John 8:29}

Do you feel alone? Lost, scared, and deserted? Like no one is there for you? 

Even when it feels hopeless, there is hope. No matter what you may feel, Jesus is always there. Even when it pours, and the wind blows, there is always a still small voice, to comfort, and to protect you.

Every step, every breath you are there.

Every tear, every cry, every prayer.

In my hurt, and my worst, when my world falls down,

Not for a moment, will you forsake me. 

~Meredith Andrews~

Linking up with Faithful Fridays

The Real Reason

I am terribly sorry, but today I do not have Easter pictures.. because, well.. I have none.

Only one person went to church on Sunday, and there were no Easter baskets or egg hunts. Anna Grace, Ally, Joshua, and myself were all sick. Last Tuesday, I fell sick with the Flu. The rest soon followed. Yesterday Lily became sick as well. So as you can see, there are no Easter pictures. 

But then again, are we ignoring the real reason for Easter?

We are all guilty of it, myself included. How often is our first thoughts of Easter on candy, and gifts, and prizes? I do.

I won't make this a lengthy post. But I have to post something Christ-related for Easter. 

Luke 24:3

...But when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.

Hopefully we'll have a do-over next week-end, and try this Easter stuff again! :)

Redirected

I am in deep love with China. It is the place think of every day. When I think far away, I think China. It is the  only foreign country I have been to. My family knew my greatest desire was to go to China this summer. However, it wasn't working, which frustrated me. Show Hope deadlines were over, and at inconvenient times. They were the organization I wanted to go with. So I was really upset as I came to realize that was not going to be a possibility.  

Thursday I was redirected. A missions trip to Haiti. 

What? God I don't even know where Haiti is.

It was not what I wanted. It was not my China. My immediate thought was no.

I dug my heels in. I wanted China, and only China. 

But God took a shovel and removed the dirt. Suddenly I changed.

What's wrong with Haiti? Orphans are orphans, not matter where they are from.

My frustration turned to excitement and joy. I wanted to go so incredibly much. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was everything on my mind. I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't get my mind off these precious faces.
If I go...
I'd be there for one week.
I would be helping with a VBS at a local Orphanage.
Spending time with the least of these.

You know how it works. After the happy moments, dark clouds overshadows my hopes.
What could you possibly do in Haiti?
You have no funds to take a trip like that.
Haiti will be nothing like China.
You're not strong enough for anything like this.

I have no answers. I have no idea what I could do in Haiti. I have absolutely no money. I am probably not strong enough. But I am nothing by myself. It's God.

But when I fix my mind on all that you are
Then every doubt I feel deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade and fall to the ground 
Cause' when I seek your face and don't look around
Any place I'm in grows strangely dim.
~Strangely Dim~ 
Francesca Battistelli 

For now I am waiting, until I hear differently. But for now it is a clear, "Go."

Isaiah 6:8- Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

 

True Valentine

I am sure you all know what "holiday" is on Thursday, Valentine's Day. Personally I enjoy Valentine's Day, and it's not because I think it's romantic, or because I spend it with the perfect person. I just like the candy involved! ;) As I was talking to a lot of people, I realized I view Valentine's day very differently than others. I noticed some of this:

"Gosh, I really wish Thursday would just come and go."

"Valentine's Day... Ain't nobody got time fo' dat!"

"Maybe this Valentine's day will actually be enjoyable."

Don't get me wrong, I have crushes and stuff, but I don't mourn on Valentine's Day.

I have never once thought: "I wish I had a boyfriend to spend this Valentine's Day with." 

Am I weird?

I was reading a magazine (Christian), and it was talking about the different types of love. Eros (Greek for "Romantic" love) and Agape (Greek for "Christian" love). It emphasized that they were very different loves. It talked about how we should strive to act on Agape love, not Eros.

This brought me to a thought. "Why do we need a man-made holiday to express our love for one another?"
As Christians we should be showing Agape love everyday, all the time.
We shouldn't be showing love one day once a year, but all the time.

Here is my challenge to all your girls out there (myself included), this Valentine's Day lets strive to seek out Agape love. For now, put Eros in the closet. Truly act upon Agape and seek to love God more.

Where is the Joy?

So this it not an "Ooo! Merry Christmas, I love decorating and singing Christmas Carols"

Sorry, wrong post. That not what you're going to hear.

Some people might end up saying, "Oh, Emma is such a Grinch, she doesn't like Christmas." If that's you opinion, fine. However it is definitely not how I am trying to come across.  

I was waiting until 'my time of the month' was over for this because I tend to be a bit emotional. Okay VERY emotional. But I think i'm pretty good now. 

So the title says it all. I don't have the Christmas joy. Most years I can't wait to put decorations up and sing carols, all the 'stuff'. This year I'm just kinda 'blahh' about Christmas. I was kinda like, "Oh it's December.. again".

Some of you may know what happened last Christmas. Other may not know, so I'll do a little overview.

Last Christmas we had our Grandparents from Florida, (and Virginia) over. Our house and hearts were full.

However our joy was crushed when we heard Luke died the day after Christmas

Two days after the agency called us my Mom had a seizure in her sleep. 

 Not really a Happy New Year.

So now your caught up, and know all that happened last December.

Okay here is the To Be Honest section.

TBH I have a had a really difficult year.

TBH I was in a depression stage for a while.

TBH I really thought everything was over, my life had fallen apart.

I don't think you really know how it feels when someone losses a close family member unless you've experienced it for yourself. I know I never did.

It like someone takes your heart and rips out part of it.You feel this terrible emptiness.

For some it might be the memories you made together. For me the memories we'll never make together.

Never being able to tell them how much you love them. Never kissing them good-night, and comforting them when they have boo-boos. Never teaching them songs, or reading them stories. These are the things that make my heart ache. 

The ache was SO big a year ago, I thought it would never end.

And I don't think it will end. Because I still ache. Not as much as I did them, but it still hurts.

I had this dream (not joking either), and it was like in heaven, or something. I saw Luke, he was running and jumping, and laughing calling my name. It was SO incredibly sweet, and sad.

Really weird, last year during school. Everyone was at the school table and I looked over, and for a split second I like saw him. He was just sitting at the school table smiling. I'm not even kidding. It was SO weird.

  Another time I was just laying bed and he was there laying next to me. For only a second. 

Maybe I weird. And I little crazy, but it's so true. I saw him.

I've never told anyone about it though.

I started a Pinterest board the other night: Bible Versus & Words of Wisdom  

There were some pins that really spoke to me.

(From Random Board)

(From My Passion Board)

So there were a lot of them.

I guess that good, right?

Many of you know this summer we adopted Joshua. What a healing that was. But as I looked back on that time I was reminded of how I felt while visiting some foster homes/orphanages. 

Loving those children was like loving Luke.

So while I was holding him..

and him...

and her...

 and of course him!

It is like i'm holding (and loving) him.

I feel better writing all this. It been locked away inside waaay too long.

I know this Christmas will have something new for me.

But for now I'm hanging low.

Am I rejoicing over our Savior's birth? Oh course.

Am I excited about presents and family time? Not yet.

By the way, I could never EVER express this out loud. I don't work that way.  

(From Me, Myself, and I board)

Your Love Never Fails

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5

In church we sing a song it's called "Your Love Never Fails."

This is the chorus.

You stay the same through the ages

Your love never changes

There may be pain in the night

but joy comes in the morning.

And when the oceans rage

I don't have to be afraid

Because I know that you love me

Your love never fails

You  make all things work together for my good.

Isn't that great? I read Psalm 30:5 this morning and thought of this song.

If you have never heard it look it up on YouTube. It is by Jesus Culture.

Thought I'd let you guys know that! :)