{Haiti} A Special Little Girl

I think in life many of us have a plan/picture of what it looks like. We have a general idea of what we will do, or hope to do. I can say for myself, I'm not "ordinary". For a fifteen-year-old female living in the 21st Century in the USA, i'm a bit "odd". 

-I am home-schooled

-I am a Christian

-I live in a family of eight

-I have been to China twice

-I have traveled to Haiti

-I literally "picked out" my little brother

-I do not have a cell phone, a car, or a boyfriend

-My house does not have cable television

-I do not own my own laptop

-...You get the point

For the time that I live in and my age, I don't follow the pattern of a typical American teenager.

I'm different. Don't get get me wrong, I'm not downing that. It's just that I am finally realized how "weird" I am. If this is sounding like I have self-image problems, I don't! It's just my wording.

For those of you who follow me on Instagram, or know me in life, you know that I just returned from Haiti on Sunday. In one single week, eight days, I experienced a lifetime of excitement, adventure, and sorrow. I visited Haiti's largest Tent City where Malaria, Typhoid, and Cholera dwell. I walked through hospital of dying people with no medical care. I have had ten little girls pull my hair in all directions. I have fed starving children, played with orphans, and loved a child beyond comprehensibility.  

This is Neila (Like Leila but with an N).

A child, simple, and innocent. I didn't plan our relationship, but God did.

On Tuesday, the second day of VBS as we are cleaning up and gathering supplies, a small little girl runs behind me grabs my legs and giggles. I glance behind to see a little black face and brown eyes smiling up at me. I grabbed her little hand and she reached up for me to carry her. So I picked up that big 5-6 year old girl and carried her back to Cross to Light (The place we were staying). She came into my room sat on the floor and mimicked my every move. From then on it was simple love. Each day we grew closer and closer.

I began to realize I would be leaving soon. It ripped my heart to think about it, so I didn't. Despite my hopes, Saturday did come. I honestly felt sick to my stomach. The feeling when your nervous was how I felt all day before I left. Ten minutes before we left I sat down with her in my arms and cried. I don't think I have been that sad since Luke died. Finally they called us to come outside, and I walked down the hill with tears streaming down my face. Then I handed her my sunglasses that at least thirty kids had asked for. "Keep these for me okay?" I told her and she nodded. I set her on the ground and walked to the Tap-Tap (A Taxi-like vehicle in Haiti). Abigail (a new close friend) climbed in before me, tears running down her face as well.We both sat there bawling as we waited to leave, fifty kids crowded around watching us cry. I looked over and Neila stood in the crowd with my sunglasses sitting on her head. I smiled and blew her a few kisses. Pastor Brian (the director of Cross to Light) picked her up and look at me and said, "I look after her for you!" and then kissed her cheek. After he put her down the Tap-Tap began to move and we drove away with Neila in the distance wearing my sunglasses. 

Leaving her was the hardest thing I have ever done. 

I will love you for you, not for what you have done, or what you will become.

I will love you for you, I will give you the love, the love that you never knew.

In my journal today I read something I wrote before I left.

June 27th, 2013
"...In my heart I know there is someone special there. Someone I will dread leaving, someone who will change my life. It is only days until I see their face."
{Neila}