China- My Experience at Maria's {Part 2}

Thank-you to all who left question on my last post. Don't worry, if I don't answer your questions in this post, i'll answer them in future posts.

After the initial arrival at Maria's and my first day I began to feel more comfortable. It wasn't totally awkward to walk into a nursery of ten children and four nannies. All who are without a doubt talking about you while you have no idea what their saying. [By the way, the nannies are SUPER sweet ladies! Some are more shy than others, but a good deal of them will try to communicate with you. And they love when you take pictures of the kids and will help you hold the kids!]

I didn't grow close to any specific children at first. Which upset me at first. But then I found myself going back to the "Dumbo Room". Maria-Claire really began to capture my heart. As one of the oldest children at MBHOH, it was easy to develop a relationship built on more than toys. Garrick, who also lives in the "Dumbo Room", also began to tug on my heart, full of giggles and personality he was easy to love.

But not every child is easy to love. How do you build a relationship with a child who can't move on their own? How do you laugh and play with a child who can't respond to your touch or voice? I think God spoke to me more while I sat in a corner holding a child who was unable to communicate or even smile at me than any others. I'll be completely honest, dealing with that stuff is difficult for me. I would much rather play with a child who can giggle and run around. But what I like is not always what God wants.

Later on I also fell in love with a little boy named Vincent. He is paralyzed from waist down but he is really fast, both crawling and in his little wheelchair. He has the cutest little laugh and I loved playing with him every day! He lives in the "Peter Rabbit Room". There were also a few babies who I, and some of the other girls really felt connected to. 

Speaking of the people on the trip. I was truly blessed with such an incredible team! I had no idea what to expect going into a mission knowing no one. But everyone was able to connect so quickly and we became like sisters. I honestly can't believe we only knew each other for days it felt like years! But out of my 19 team members I became especially close with a girl named Kayla. We were the last to arrive at the airport and we just kinda click. We were able to arrange seating on the plane so that for 13 hours we could be next to each other. Then at Maria's are beds were next to each it other. God really blessed me with Kayla! I just wish we didn't live so far from each other!

Kayla and I riding up to the Great Wall!

Kayla and I in Old City

Feel free to keep leaving questions and I will certainly answer them in the posts to come!

China- My Experience Serving at Maria's {Part 1}

** I cannot post any pictures of the children I met at Maria's Big House of Hope online. China and Show Hope have requested the pictures of these children be kept off the internet and out of public view. This is to protect the children, their families, and their adoption. **

What a place. I remember riding in the bus with my 19 other team members and driving through a gate that led to a huge blue building. There is was. I'd seen pictures, I'd read stories, I'd dreamed about it; but nothing compared to seeing it with my own eyes. For those who don't know, Maria's Big House of Hope is a 6 story special care unit located in Luoyang, China. It is not and orphanage. When we first arrived I was so overwhelmed, so many nurseries, so many children. 

If you don't know the story behind MBHOH please read about it at showhope.org

We arrived at Maria's around 4pm and dinner was at 6pm. So I forced myself to unpack and not see any children. But the next morning at 7:30 (the earliest you can go into any of the nurseries) I found myself in the "Finding Nemo Room"

Each room has a Disney Theme

I found myself with playing with a little girl who had a heart defect and down syndrome. Sassy and sweet, she had me and a friend laughing for the next half hour. But then I entered the "Winnie the Pooh" room. As I walked in the door my heart skipped a beat. A little boy sat on the floor almost identical to Luke.

The last pictures taken of Luke before he died.

His name was Ryker, almost four years old. He had spina bifida and was paralyzed from the waist down. The boy was sweet, but too similar to Luke. I had to leave the room soon. On the inside I was a mess, falling apart. But the outside was completely calm, I showed no different emotion. I had determined before the trip that I wasn't going to tell anyone about Luke.

So I left the room and found another nursery as I tried to forget about the wound that had be touched ever so slightly. More to come...


*Please begin leaving question about my trip so that I can answer them within these posts.*

Support Show Hope [CLOSED]

*** This Fundraiser is now closed, however you may donate to Show Hope at any time by going to this page. ***

If you are not already aware, the mission trip I am going on this summer is with the organization Show Hope. I recommend watching this video. It speaks a bit on orphans, Show Hope, and Maria's Big House of Hope.

 This week (until Sunday) and organization called Sevenly is supporting Show Hope. They are selling t-shirts with some awesome messages and designs. They are trying to raise $21,000.

I would recommend you check out their website and t-shirts. $7 of every purchase is given to Show Hope. (Since their name is Sevenly) 

Even if you decide not to buy a shirt, please pray for Show Hope and their mission. Through them, many children are finally given a family. Show Hope gave our family a financial grant to help bring Luke home, which ended up helping bring Joshua home. 

God sets the lonely in families... Psalm 68:6 

When New Doors Open

       Last year I went to Haiti, (i'm sure you know because I won't stop talking about it) this year my church is going back... but i'm not. Gasp What!? This is no more a shock to you, than it is to me. I was a different person when I came back from Haiti, it changed my life. So why am I not returning?

When my church announced the first "Haiti 2014" trip meeting I attended. I sat, I listened, and I was reminded of my time spent there a few months before. But something was missing. The "feeling". I can't explain it, but I always have this feeling when I'm supposed to do something. It was there the year before, and it was there before our China trips. Where was it now? There was no excitement, no longing, and I wasn't thinking about it... at all. I knew I wouldn't be going, I wasn't supposed to go.

        So, what now? China. I've always wanted to serve in China on a mission trip, but nothing really stuck out.. at the time. I sent a couple of interest emails to Shepherd's Field and New Hope Foundation. The door was closed immediately on SF but New Hope seemed like the answer. I applied to volunteer over the summer, but the door was shut. That's it. I told myself it just wasn't going to work. My mother, however, suggest to try Show Hope. The deadlines for Show Hope mission trip applications was last month, I told her. 

      But, I emailed the mission coordinator anyway and asked if they accepted late applications.Hours later, she emailed back. Someone dropped out of the August trip to China... yesterday. I filled out the application and sent in many papers with a check for $500. I then received a pre-trip handbook and visa paperwork. I was accepted. 

        I don't think it really sunk in that I am going to China until I put 30+ support letters in my mailbox. But trips like this do not come easy, I have to raise $2000 by April 18th, and then another $2000 by June 20th. Every time I find myself getting overwhelmed by those number (which is often) I try to remind myself of Philippians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

       From here the door on Haiti is shutting. Its sad, but I'm ready to walk through this new door that has been so clearly opened for me. It's genuinely difficult to say good-bye to Haiti, but I pray in faith that later there will be another door back to Haiti. I miss my Neila, but I will bring her with me to whatever country I serve in.

Until next time Haiti <3

If you want to learn more about my mission trip to China with Show Hope or financially support my trip you can read my Mission Support letter. For security reasons, the letter is private, so please leave a comment or email me to let me know you'd like to read it and I will send you the link. 

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus {Philippians 4:19} 

Redirected

I am in deep love with China. It is the place think of every day. When I think far away, I think China. It is the  only foreign country I have been to. My family knew my greatest desire was to go to China this summer. However, it wasn't working, which frustrated me. Show Hope deadlines were over, and at inconvenient times. They were the organization I wanted to go with. So I was really upset as I came to realize that was not going to be a possibility.  

Thursday I was redirected. A missions trip to Haiti. 

What? God I don't even know where Haiti is.

It was not what I wanted. It was not my China. My immediate thought was no.

I dug my heels in. I wanted China, and only China. 

But God took a shovel and removed the dirt. Suddenly I changed.

What's wrong with Haiti? Orphans are orphans, not matter where they are from.

My frustration turned to excitement and joy. I wanted to go so incredibly much. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was everything on my mind. I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't get my mind off these precious faces.
If I go...
I'd be there for one week.
I would be helping with a VBS at a local Orphanage.
Spending time with the least of these.

You know how it works. After the happy moments, dark clouds overshadows my hopes.
What could you possibly do in Haiti?
You have no funds to take a trip like that.
Haiti will be nothing like China.
You're not strong enough for anything like this.

I have no answers. I have no idea what I could do in Haiti. I have absolutely no money. I am probably not strong enough. But I am nothing by myself. It's God.

But when I fix my mind on all that you are
Then every doubt I feel deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade and fall to the ground 
Cause' when I seek your face and don't look around
Any place I'm in grows strangely dim.
~Strangely Dim~ 
Francesca Battistelli 

For now I am waiting, until I hear differently. But for now it is a clear, "Go."

Isaiah 6:8- Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

 

Not Just Another Face...

     1 year ago I sat here. A day like any other, yet nothing like any day before. A day that will live in my memory forever. 1 year ago, I saw the face of my angel. A precious boy who was alone, and hurting. A boy who need the love of a Mama, a Baba, and Jia Ting (family). I had no idea the journey that face would take me on, nor the joy that face would bring me.  

Did I realize that face would be forever etched in my mind.

Did I realize his laugh would forever echo in my ears.

Did I realize his name would be forever in my head.

Did I realize he would never leave my thoughts? 

Did I realize he would kiss my cheeks?

Did I realize that he would call me Jie Jie?

No

He was just another face. 

Another orphan, another boy, another child.

At that time.

Today I look back and realize I had no idea.

No idea that the face I was watching was the face of my brother.

That boy was my Di Di. 

The more I saw him the more I wanted him.

He was precious, adorable, and sweet.

I believed his name would be Levi. I wanted his face to belong to that name. Joined in Harmony was the meaning. As time went on and the name was rejected, I realized that was not his name. I honestly believe one day I will have a son named Levi, and he will be missing his arm(s).

**When I first saw Joshua it was in a video, not a picture. To see the video I watched a year ago, click here. (Password jake1)**

Pictures Worth A Thousand Words

This picture made my heart break so.

Source 

National Adoption/Orphan Month

Most of you probably know that is is National Adoption Month.

And I am sure most of you have posted about it already.

I'm not entirely sure what to write.

I could give a speech on how everyone should adopt, and there are million of orphans in the world.

But I won't.

Because God calls you to adopt, not Emma.

So instead I'll share how adoption has impacted me. 

Source: Uploaded by user via Emma on Pinterest

I believe adoption is a gift and blessing.

A wonderful privileged God bestows upon some of us.

Source: Uploaded by user via Emma on Pinterest

I love all orphans. But I, myself, feel called specifically to the orphans in China. 

This summer, my dream is to go to a place called New Hope Foundation.

For the entire summer!

Both Luke and Joshua, lived there a good deal of their lives.

Source: lovewithoutboundaries.com via Emma on Pinterest

In the hour that I spent there I was SO impacted.

It is a wonder Christian environment where the kids are taken great care of.

Source: lovewithoutboundaries.com via Emma on Pinterest

I so love these kids.

I am sure most of you do too!

*All picture were from Pinterest, you can find them on my Passion Board *

Changed..

I've changed.

Anyone can see that.

But really, It's not just on the outside. I'm changed on the inside.

Big time.

I think anyone would be different after a trip across the earth.

But now it's SO clear.

Before it was just a feeling, a hope.

It's more now.

I knew Orphans were such a huge part of my life.

It started as a poke, then a bump, a shove.

Now I'm sitting on the floor.

Spending time at the Hallers, New Hope, and Shepherd's Field has shaken me.

After seeing, and holding, and loving these precious children... I have lost alot of selfishness.

Cause no matter what I go through, it will never be as hard as what they go through.

Each and every one of those children. Are SO beautiful and precious.

But a majority I people only see a face.

I see their hearts.

It's in their eyes.

If you look, you truly look, deep in their eyes you can hear their hearts saying:

Hold me,

Love me,

Feed me,

Save me.

Have I every been abandoned?

Have I ever been treated like dirt?

Have I never been loved?

I know I'll be back.
I just feel it.
China's my destiny, my calling, my future.

Vacant Shoes- Favorite Foto Friday

Why is that a fav. photo, Emma?

Well, I see these shoes, sitting in a basket, every day. Among other vacant clothes.

Whenever I see them sitting there I'm reminded of a precious face I will soon kiss!

That's why I love this "temporarily-vacant" shoes.

I can't wait for the day when I tie their laces!

Article 5!!!

We got our Article 5 yesterday!!

So...

Next is Travel Approval!

Which should arrive within 2-4 weeks!

So 3-7 weeks until China!!!

Wooohooo!

Waiting,

is SO incredibly difficult. Especially when your waiting for this cutie!

I realize July and August are just around the corner, but it's just SO hard!

This morning we received an email with some pictures of Josh with chocolate all over his face.

I must say, he'll fit right in! 

According to the email, Josh said, "But the Chocolate was so good!"

Here another picture of Josh with his little buddies

A New Picture

Guess what? We got a new picture of Joshua!

A New Playmate

Lily seems to adore her soon-to-be play buddy.

But I don't think she realizes that he's is going to shake her life!

What is she going to think of someone else getting a lot of attention.

How will she respond to someone playing with her toys?

Lily will turn 3 on October 7

Josh will turn 3 on October 22

They are only 2 weeks apart in age!

I guess that means will have to wait until July to find out if their friends or foes!

Only time will tell!

On a side note, today was our last day of school! 

Next year I'll be a freshman!

Hello High School!

Jehovah Saves

After Luke's death, I felt as if I had been shoved into a dark closet. Isolated, angry, and bitter. On the outside I had it all together, but on the inside I was shattered into a million pieces. Nothing made me feel better, and I didn't want to think about Luke or anything that had to do with him. Especially adoption and SN orphans. A week or two after his death, I saw an email that said we could pick up another adoption where we stopped. I was so angry with the agency. Another adoption? No child will ever fill Luke's spot.

I was afraid, I didn't want to experience that horrible heartbreak ever again. 

For those of you who follow Stefanie's blog, remember when she posted about gus? Well I really didn't think about him at all. However she posted about him again. This time with a link to watch videos. I watched the video and look at the other children. Then I saw Jake. (Password jake1) All my fears went away and I fell in love. I watched the video over and over again. However, I moved on. The next week he kept coming back to mind and I had several dreams of him being with our family. Finally I had to show someone this precious boy. So I did, but my Mom was not enthusiastic about him, at all. So I thought that was the end, just another kid who must stay orphaned. He still didn't go away, and it turned out my Mom did try to see if he was available for adoption. He was, but with another agency, and there were at least four other families waiting to view his file. There was no chance, someone was going to adopt him. That evening at church, the message: God's delay's are NOT his denials. Coincidence? I think not.
The week passed and every time I thought of someone else adopting him I felt sick. Then one Sunday Mom and Dad said they had Jake's file. My thought, Then why aren't we telling the agency we'll take him? They wanted to talk to doctors about his SN and pray. Jake's special need is Arthrogryposis. The next Sunday as my Dad and I are driving home Dad told me that they had accepted Jake's file. I was overjoyed, and not sure how to react. Before I saw Jake I was so afraid of adoption with SN. But my fears were no where when Jake was around.

While my Dad and I were driving home, my Mom called. They just moved Jake into the "Shunyi Foster Home."
He had taken Luke's spot in the foster home.


Crazy, right? Right after we accepted his file, he was transferred to Luke's foster home.
Needless to say everyone was mind-boggled for the next few days.
Luke was a super-special boy, and I think he wanted us to have Jake, he wants us to help other distressed and alone orphans.

So without further a due, I introduce to you..

My new little brother!