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On Monday and orphan became a daughter!

Read the story here!

Chinese New Year- Year of the Horse

Today is the Chinese New Year! The year of the snake is over, it is now the year of the horse.

Am I the only one who finds all the animals fascinating? Rats, oxen, tigers, rabbits, dragons, snakes, horses, goats, monkeys, roosters, dogs, and pigs. 

In case you were wondering the Chinese New Year celebrations start CNY eve, and continue until the lantern festival (which the the fifteenth day after CNY).

Of course, what is Chinese New Year without putting on our Chinese clothes?

Both Joshua and Lily were very excited when I asked them if I could take their pictures in their Chinese clothes. 

It was super cold, and there was snow on the ground, but they were champs!

Zhōngguó xīnnián kuàilè- Happy Chinese New Year!

Not Just Another Face...

     1 year ago I sat here. A day like any other, yet nothing like any day before. A day that will live in my memory forever. 1 year ago, I saw the face of my angel. A precious boy who was alone, and hurting. A boy who need the love of a Mama, a Baba, and Jia Ting (family). I had no idea the journey that face would take me on, nor the joy that face would bring me.  

Did I realize that face would be forever etched in my mind.

Did I realize his laugh would forever echo in my ears.

Did I realize his name would be forever in my head.

Did I realize he would never leave my thoughts? 

Did I realize he would kiss my cheeks?

Did I realize that he would call me Jie Jie?

No

He was just another face. 

Another orphan, another boy, another child.

At that time.

Today I look back and realize I had no idea.

No idea that the face I was watching was the face of my brother.

That boy was my Di Di. 

The more I saw him the more I wanted him.

He was precious, adorable, and sweet.

I believed his name would be Levi. I wanted his face to belong to that name. Joined in Harmony was the meaning. As time went on and the name was rejected, I realized that was not his name. I honestly believe one day I will have a son named Levi, and he will be missing his arm(s).

**When I first saw Joshua it was in a video, not a picture. To see the video I watched a year ago, click here. (Password jake1)**

Lily Rose Ji Han

How can it be?

Two years?

Seems like she's been with us forever!

Today is Lily's two year anniversary!

And back in May I started this video for Lily.

I finished is two weeks ago.

I'll let the video speck now.

Well?

Like it?

I pick the song, "Life is Beautiful" by The Afters,

cause it fits so well!

I love you, Lily!

Changed..

I've changed.

Anyone can see that.

But really, It's not just on the outside. I'm changed on the inside.

Big time.

I think anyone would be different after a trip across the earth.

But now it's SO clear.

Before it was just a feeling, a hope.

It's more now.

I knew Orphans were such a huge part of my life.

It started as a poke, then a bump, a shove.

Now I'm sitting on the floor.

Spending time at the Hallers, New Hope, and Shepherd's Field has shaken me.

After seeing, and holding, and loving these precious children... I have lost alot of selfishness.

Cause no matter what I go through, it will never be as hard as what they go through.

Each and every one of those children. Are SO beautiful and precious.

But a majority I people only see a face.

I see their hearts.

It's in their eyes.

If you look, you truly look, deep in their eyes you can hear their hearts saying:

Hold me,

Love me,

Feed me,

Save me.

Have I every been abandoned?

Have I ever been treated like dirt?

Have I never been loved?

I know I'll be back.
I just feel it.
China's my destiny, my calling, my future.

Oh, Baby!

Guess what popped into our inbox at 1:30???

Travel Approval!

We don't have the definite travel dates.

However, we have our possible travel dates!!

Leave around July 18-20 and return around August 4

or

Leave July 25-27 and return around August 11!

Nothing is definite until our Consulate Appointment is scheduled. 

But who cares! My brother will be home in a month!!!!

Vacant Shoes- Favorite Foto Friday

Why is that a fav. photo, Emma?

Well, I see these shoes, sitting in a basket, every day. Among other vacant clothes.

Whenever I see them sitting there I'm reminded of a precious face I will soon kiss!

That's why I love this "temporarily-vacant" shoes.

I can't wait for the day when I tie their laces!

Article 5!!!

We got our Article 5 yesterday!!

So...

Next is Travel Approval!

Which should arrive within 2-4 weeks!

So 3-7 weeks until China!!!

Wooohooo!

Waiting,

is SO incredibly difficult. Especially when your waiting for this cutie!

I realize July and August are just around the corner, but it's just SO hard!

This morning we received an email with some pictures of Josh with chocolate all over his face.

I must say, he'll fit right in! 

According to the email, Josh said, "But the Chocolate was so good!"

Here another picture of Josh with his little buddies

A New Picture

Guess what? We got a new picture of Joshua!

A New Playmate

Lily seems to adore her soon-to-be play buddy.

But I don't think she realizes that he's is going to shake her life!

What is she going to think of someone else getting a lot of attention.

How will she respond to someone playing with her toys?

Lily will turn 3 on October 7

Josh will turn 3 on October 22

They are only 2 weeks apart in age!

I guess that means will have to wait until July to find out if their friends or foes!

Only time will tell!

On a side note, today was our last day of school! 

Next year I'll be a freshman!

Hello High School!

If There Wasn't Enough CRAZY Stuff!

Sorry I haven't posted since "The Big News".

On Tuesday I found out I had strep, and yesterday I felt like poop.

So I haven't posted.

And let me tell ya! There's alot to post about.

First is this shirt..

"My Dad Is The Man!"

Yep, Luke had it.

And guess what Mom found at a used sale???

Ya. It's a little werid...

just a bit!

It's 3T so Josh will def. be wearing it in China!

Jehovah Saves

After Luke's death, I felt as if I had been shoved into a dark closet. Isolated, angry, and bitter. On the outside I had it all together, but on the inside I was shattered into a million pieces. Nothing made me feel better, and I didn't want to think about Luke or anything that had to do with him. Especially adoption and SN orphans. A week or two after his death, I saw an email that said we could pick up another adoption where we stopped. I was so angry with the agency. Another adoption? No child will ever fill Luke's spot.

I was afraid, I didn't want to experience that horrible heartbreak ever again. 

For those of you who follow Stefanie's blog, remember when she posted about gus? Well I really didn't think about him at all. However she posted about him again. This time with a link to watch videos. I watched the video and look at the other children. Then I saw Jake. (Password jake1) All my fears went away and I fell in love. I watched the video over and over again. However, I moved on. The next week he kept coming back to mind and I had several dreams of him being with our family. Finally I had to show someone this precious boy. So I did, but my Mom was not enthusiastic about him, at all. So I thought that was the end, just another kid who must stay orphaned. He still didn't go away, and it turned out my Mom did try to see if he was available for adoption. He was, but with another agency, and there were at least four other families waiting to view his file. There was no chance, someone was going to adopt him. That evening at church, the message: God's delay's are NOT his denials. Coincidence? I think not.
The week passed and every time I thought of someone else adopting him I felt sick. Then one Sunday Mom and Dad said they had Jake's file. My thought, Then why aren't we telling the agency we'll take him? They wanted to talk to doctors about his SN and pray. Jake's special need is Arthrogryposis. The next Sunday as my Dad and I are driving home Dad told me that they had accepted Jake's file. I was overjoyed, and not sure how to react. Before I saw Jake I was so afraid of adoption with SN. But my fears were no where when Jake was around.

While my Dad and I were driving home, my Mom called. They just moved Jake into the "Shunyi Foster Home."
He had taken Luke's spot in the foster home.


Crazy, right? Right after we accepted his file, he was transferred to Luke's foster home.
Needless to say everyone was mind-boggled for the next few days.
Luke was a super-special boy, and I think he wanted us to have Jake, he wants us to help other distressed and alone orphans.

So without further a due, I introduce to you..

My new little brother!

The Worst New Year

Whaaaa?

Yes my post title is correct. Why?

Because of events that caused it.

I've put off this post(s) for a couple months now, because I could bring myself to talk about it.

I was able to tell you about Luke death, and a couple posts about me missing him. But that was all.

So here's the real stuff, or should I say in depth story. 

Wednesday, December 28 2011

Quite frankly I remember nothing of the morning because of such a mind blowing afternoon

 Alexis (Alex), Aaron's fiance had come over because we were going buy supplies to make cake-pops because of a cook-book she had given me for Christmas. But my Mom and Grandma, and Grandpa had gone out to lunch so we were waiting for them to get home so I could leave. 

They all came home... and our adoption agency had been trying to get a hold of us. Everyone got excited be we anticipated that it was about our long awaited LOA. 

So as Alex and I watch Barbie, Nutcracker, Mom talks on the phone. 

After a minute Mom runs upstairs crying.

Alex looks at me, I began to cry and ran to the bathroom.

In my heart I knew why there were tears, but my mind would not believe what my heart was telling me. 

Luke can't die... he doesn't have a deathly need.

No! It's nothing like that!

Despite the events, Alex and I still left for the store.

While in the car she asked,

"So, is your Mom okay?"

"I have no idea, i'm not even sure what was wrong."

The entire trip my stomach had the feeling you have when you know you've done something wrong and your parents found out, or right before you get up in-front of a bunch of people. 

It would go away.

We arrive home. I sat waiting, for something, the horrible silence made my stomach all the worse. Where were Mom and Dad. Why were they keeping to themselves. Oh how I wish they had, because they came down stairs and sat us all around. 

I knew what was going to be told, and it hurt, more than any hurt I had, had before.

Luke had died. The day after my birthday! Right after my joy came sorrow. And bitter weeping. 

I physically could believe this could happen to me. Death happens but not to me, not to my brother. 

Why? After all You've done for this adoption, Why?

I was numb, broken, unable to move and to stop tears.

But I moved, to my room were I cried more. I turned the picture of Luke's face over, I could even look into his precious eyes. They eyes that were so full of life. 

I took out my DVD player and put in Dolphin Tale that I just got. 

I went to scene selection and watched the scene where a little girl in a wheel chair visits Winter.

I'm not sure why. But I did!

That night was unbearable. I spent most of it crying, and blowing my nose, then crying some more. Till I was out.

Part 2 to come!!

I know....

I know, I know. Its been like 2 weeks since I've posted.... and I have no good reason why! 

Just haven't had anything to post about I guess. I really don't have anything to post about tonight either but.... I do have couple of old pictures up my sleeve! Well not old just older! They are long lost photo's from China!

There those pictures that are pretty cute but forget to post... ya know!?

Have a great week-end!